Intimacy: Confrontational.

I live in a house with 6 other girls. So yes. 7 of us total. I know. We're nuts.

Here's the thing.
Even though yes there have been times I've wished I could escape it all (sometimes even all of Abilene), I don't know if I could have asked for a better blessing for my college living experience.

7 girls. One house.

Ann Marie's room is closest with mine. We share a hallway and a bathroom.
Allie is in the middle of the house. Second closest to me.
Julie shares a bathroom with Allie and her room is pretty far from me.
On the other side of the house is Hannah who has her own bathroom (she got the smallest room).
Then even further is Meredith and DJ who share a (huge) room and bathroom.

You probably wonder why in the world I would even tell you our room locations.
But let me tell you.
God does NOTHING by accident.
Picking rooms was a stressful situation. We drew numbers. #1 got first pick..and so on.
And this is how we ended up. Not by accident I assure you. And now that we're here living in this arrangement, it is making such perfect sense.

My room is easily shut off from the house. This has quite possibly been the biggest advantage for me this year. I'm a huge introvert and I'm realizing now how much not having my alone time really did affect me the last two years. I feel much more sane now.
But it's funny because Ann Marie is right next to me, who is quite possibly the most outgoing. (Her or Meredith who was my roommate last year in Sikes). Funny? Or purposeful.
I've loved getting to bond with Ann Marie though. She walks in to talk plenty and I need people who will do that because I pretty much am not going to walk into other people's rooms on a regular basis. I just go to mine.
We've bonded by doing stupid things like Bible in a Minute (look it up on youtube please) or making a music video to the song Butterfly Kisses. And let me tell you, if you would have known me this time last year, you would have known how big of a deal that is. I would rather have died than danced. All the girls have helped me past that, and Ann Marie keeps my fun side out on a regular basis that I didn't really know existed much. Or at least I'd forgotten about it for several years.
Then Ann Marie has made comments about how my organization and cleanliness has helped her to cope with life and keep her stress level down. And like I said, we talk plenty-- and I know that because of certain truths about our personalities, it is very good for us to be talking about what we're going through as much as we do. God's good. I'm so grateful to have her near this often.
Then Allie is right smack dab in the middle. She's been dating a guy since freshman year and they recently broke up. Now God's not only placed her in a house with 6 other girls, but her room is literally surrounded by us. I don't know Allie as well as the others, so I'm glad she is close and pray that continues to breed opportunities for us to connect on a deeper level. It's also been funny to get to know her because it's weird some of the similarities we have that I never realized before. I bet God will show us something pretty cool between the two of us before we move out.
Julie's location I know is important to her because it was her sister's old room. Also because of the way it's set up, you have to be pretty creative to make it work for a room. Julie's entire family is extremely creative so the room was a good challenge for their talents. As far as Julie being in that place now, I haven't quite figured much out about that yet. I know it's been a good thing for her and Allie to share a bathroom. I've heard only good things. Allie also seems to be able to understand a lot about Julie's dating situation at the moment which seems to be a blessing.
Hannah's room is unique. In order to get to Meredith and DJ's room you have to walk through Hannah's. So she has very little privacy due to that fact and also because her room is right next to the kitchen. But Hannah loves to be around people. She's quiet but very extraverted at times. She seems to be energized by the excitement that her room allows her to stay connected to constantly. Also she's sharing a closet in DJ and Meredith's room which means the three of them have a lot of interaction together which I know is good. Hannah analyzes a lot just like me so I know the combination of her and Meredith together will do a lot of the same good that me and Mer rooming together last year did. Hannah and DJ have always been close but they both studied abroad last year during different semesters so it is good for them to make up for lost time.
DJ and Meredith sharing a room together provides an awesome bond for them. I don't know if they would spend quite as much time together sharing like they do if they weren't in a room together.

Maybe from an outsider it's hard to understand exaclty why these personalities are so complimentary to one another at this particular time, and why this set up is so fascinating---but for me personally I love to experience and watch it unfold.


See here's another big thing.
I gave up dating for the entire year.
I will be single for my entire junior year and the following summer.
No dates. No promises. No commitments. Nothing.

But I'm convinced that while God is healing my heart this year from wounds I've punctured myself through dating, he is still preparing me for relationships to come, romantic or not.

I know for a fact he is teaching me about long term commitment through these girls.

Ever since junior high I've had a different best friend every year. I've had 5 meaningful dating relationships along with 6 more that, though casual, I still invested some of myself into in some way. I can have still have a meaning conversation with about 2 friends from high school.
I don't get homesick. I'm just not one to linger in relationships.

But these girls I've been with for going on 3 years now. And it's not just fluff surface friendships like you have in youthgroup for years and years. This is the real deal. Tough stuff. These girls know me.

All those things you try to hide and pretend aren't there- they aren't afraid to call me out on, on a daily basis. And I do the same for them. We aren't afraid of conflict and we aren't afraid to say it how it is.

We also know how to encourage each other in more meaningful ways because we know when something is a real challenge and we know what characteristics really are natural and true about each other.

Living with people. One person even. Is such a challenge. But it teaches you so much about fully accepting one another and about holding each other accountable. It teaches you about challenging one another and blessing one another and being there when the rest of the world chews you up and spits you out. It's about giving you space and it's about not leaving your side. It's about sharing and then holding each other responsible. It's about loving words and stern words. It's about truth and silence. It's about dance parties and tears. It's about prayer and cookies. It's about tough questions without answers and straight advice. It's about observations and minding your own business. It's about learning and teaching.

But the best thing it's been about is God himself. I know and understand so much better about his nature by experiencing so many different personalities on a regular basis. And whether or not I'll want to date again at the end of this year I can't know right now. But I know that wherever God takes me I'm going to be with people and they will be my family because of my Lord Jesus Christ. And if I'm going to be around family I'm going to have to learn how to treat them with love always and to see them for who God made them to be. But I know I have to start now not only with my actual family but with my family here in Abilene. If I want to go and change the world but the blessed community God's already put me in is one that I neglect and take advantage of, I won't go far. I have to be willing to minister to broken people and I have to realize that starts with myself and those that already currently surround me.

God is such an intimate God who cannot act outside of love and I pray He never gives up on teaching you and me to live likewise.